Weekly Blog Post: La Fin

     This is my last blog post and I'd like to say that blogs have been my escape. I've learned that I'm the kind of reader who's not afraid of getting lost in a book, or in a blog post. I find that I lead a very problematic life and the only way to cope with that is to learn about other people and their problems. Books are my paradise.

     When I started to write blog posts, I hated them. Downright hated them. They were just another thing I had to deal with. But as I started to do them, I realized that these blog posts were... fun. They made me really feel the books that I had wrote about. Then it was getting clear that what I liked about books were the themes, and that's what I liked to write about. Blog posts made me see that books had an inside to them; themes, emotions, and it all required understanding to really comprehend these "insides" of books. And so every week, I read my books while trying to understand different emotions and views. This was a great benefit of writing blog posts; I tried to understand these views and emotions so I would write about them on my blog. My blog motivated me to really search for more in the books that I read.

     I started to love writing on my blog. It wasn't a hassle, but a hobby for me. It was so more refreshing to write on a blog than to write an one-page entry in my notebook on God-knows-what. Writing on notebooks made me feel like I was limited to only my class and my teacher seeing it. Writing online made me feel free, like there were no restrictions. Anyone could see it, anyone could comment on it, and anyone could share it with just a click of a computer mouse. Again, big benefit. When I'm writing in a notebook, it feels like I can't write every single thing I want to. My blog is my blog and I can do anything I want with it. Now, I know that's practically the same thing with my notebook, but a notebook is just so academic. Like if I write something out of the box in my notebook, it just seems so wrong. Almost like my opinions don't matter, and only factual statements do. I control my blog and I'm not afraid to put what I think on it.

     How many times have I seen someone try to make themselves seem interesting online? More than you think. But, it's not like I've never seen a more real person online than in real life. Some people envisage themselves as a person with more privileges online than in real life. You can write something knowing that someone will see it. You can write your feelings knowing someone will see it. I feel like I can express myself better online than in real life. I mean, who's really going to listen about your "feelings" in middle school? Our society is a cruel, harsh place, and sometimes I feel safer online than in real life. And then come the people who pretend to be something they're not. Don't get me, wrong I have nothing against them. In fact, I used to do it all the time online. I understand that people want to come on as nice and interesting, not shy and boring. So, really, everybody's different on the Web. People express themselves in different ways.

     I feel like every website's freedom is somewhat abused. Especially Face-book's freedom. People get mean sometimes and it can get serious, and sometimes, it can only happen online. Teenagers do abuse the freedom of websites and they can do it by just calling people names. You can't say it to someone's face? Oh, no, don't worry. You can insult people anonymously by using Form-spring! People take advantage of these privileges. It's a horrible thing and it can scar people, emotionally and mentally.Also, I'd like to say that not everyone has the courage to say what they want to say, so maybe saying something online could be an opportunity for them to say it. Not everyone has the guts to say something in real life, so I feel like the Web really opens more options to everyone.

     I can honestly imagine myself keeping this blog up for the rest of my life. Just not weekly. Or daily. If I do keep it, it wouldn't be about books anymore. It would be mainly about life and maybe even philosophy. As a side note, I would like to add that I am not creating a new blog under any circumstances. I feel too committed to this one already. These blogs are great, really. They're such a nice way to carry out any feelings you have about... anything! I'll be sure to catch up with my blog in the future. This is my 36th and last (or maybe not) blog post. Annie out.

     Oh, I forgot! When I was going through my "quote" phase, I swore to myself that I would remember to put this great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:
     "If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor."
      This quote reminds me of this whole year and everything's that happened. This quote also pertains to my blog; I never know when I'll check with it or maybe even change it. My blog is like my life (although not all of it), and it will always be unpredictable.

Weekly Blog Post: The Truth About Forever

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

     I've always loved Sarah Dessen books and I've got to say, this book is the best out of all of them.  This book truly touches your heart while giving you a glimpse of what's really life. This book will connect with your mind and soul whilst bringing you a place so familiar, you could call it home. I love this book because of it's balance between love and friendship. Everything is laid out perfectly in this book and page after page, you'll realize that you were caught up in the midst of these carefully laid out emotions. Stunning details and a glorious story that will shine right through you. So let us travel aboard a story that will touch your heart. Here, there is nothing but bits of friendship, being heard, opening up, moving on, and why even, trying to be perfect.

     I honestly can't imagine how my life would be without friends, even the bad friends. My idea of a friend is someone you can lean on, but someone that can on lean you as well. Macy, the main character, is the girl who has never really had a real friend and I can see that she wants one- badly. My past isn't pretty, and neither is Macy's. I've never had real friends who liked me for who I was, and I never cared since hey, at least I had friends, but that is definitely not the case. This book has taught me that we all deserve someone in our lives that makes us feel special. It can't always be us trying to improve people that won't even glance our way more than once. I love how Macy basically symbolizes every one of us that can't seem to find a real friendship.Macy seems to adapt to her new friends faster than she had when she met her old friends. Isn't that a sign already that friends are supposed to make you feel good and that they're not here to make you feel lower than them? Nobody's perfect, much less friends, but we can all strive to always be there for each other. But when you think about it philosophically, nothing is real, nothing is true. We can only try to make the best of what we can; it's what being friends about.

     Being heard; the skill I've never learned to accommodate. I have never, ever, had a loud enough voice to make people listen. And when people did listen, they would think that my words didn't really matter. I've rarely chosen to say something, so I'm rarely heard. Trust me, I know how it feels like to want to tell someone something, but actually end up withdrawing. I can tell Macy has the same problem too: she's afraid someone will really listen, but not understand. She's afraid of breaking out of her shell. That's another part of Macy's problem: she's scared that people would think of her differently if she was to speak what was on her mind. She's controlled by other people's thoughts, not her own. She wants to seem the most normal human being alive. But truth is, there is no normal. We're all us. I was grown up to believe everyone was different and that's how I see things. If no two humans are alike, then how come ''most of us'' are being classified as normal? Normal is a word that isn't to describe society. Normal is not real and it will never be obtained.

     Opening up is yes, another problem. Recently, I've learned that opening up is not just a way of expressing yourself, but a way of telling what you've been hiding. I like opening up, but I almost always draw back into the dark without saying a word. Macy is the same and it's almost comforting to have someone like her to be experiencing the same problems I am. Macy lets others tell her what to say and again, they basically controls her. She has no grasp on her own life. Morally, she knows what is right; she just doesn't care which side she takes: bad or good. She doesn't even know who she is and so she thinks that she can't tell about her secrets and holes inside of her. Of course, it's her choice, but opening up just can't be done for her. But as I continue this story, I learn that opening up is more like a transition rather than a decision.

     The sequel to opening up is of course, moving on. Everyone can move on, everyone actually does, in the logical sense. We all forget sooner or later and it's definitely not a transition nor is it a decision. It's something your body does continuously. But the majority of use just chooses to not move on, but rather drown themselves in something we call grief and sorrow. I've learned to have low expectations; things don't always go as planned. I feel as if that actually makes it feel less hard to move on with that kind of thinking. I discover that Macy not like that, but she thinks in a way that moving on is like an obstacle almost nobody can achieve. I believe that moving on is something we do on free will, not something we can control. Even as you're sitting around and moping, it's just a cycle of moving on. Moving on is something that gets us from one thing to the other. Moving on is a way of life.

     The one major thing that makes me worry about Macy is that she lives to be perfect. She thinks that being perfect can erase all of her past and mistakes. Surprisingly, I have once thought that too. I thought that being perfect could put me in a better position. Here's a line I'm going to steal from Macy:
   
     ''It takes a lot of work to be perfect. If you didn't want to break a sweat, there was no point in even bothering.''

     She believes in being perfect and it's even sometimes scary how far she would take it. In reality, there is no perfect. Perfect is just as obtainable as normal is. Everyone makes a mistake or maybe even some sort of a mistake, so seeking perfectness is not only waste of time, but it proves that you're oblivious to the real world. I had once sought perfection and found nothing, but emptiness. Perfection, like the word normal, is not a word to describe humans, but something that will never be revealed. Philosophically, there is no perfection. We all live as humans who can be clumsy and unreadable. Even God's existence is flawed; there is no way of knowing the truth about Him and maybe it's already a mistake to believe in him. Guess Bokononism (the belief that all religions are fake) can be applied.

     So, again, this book is really heart touching and warm. You don't have to open up to it, this book will open up to you. This book is powerful and such a book deserves more audience. Open it and experience what I did and you'll feel a strong pull to all the characters, including Macy, in this book.
   

Weekly Blog Post: The Boyfriend List

The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart

     I'd like to say that this book is the only book that actually can relate to most of us in this gigantic world, but I can't, since there are numerous amounts of books that I have not even laid a finger on yet. So I'll just say that this book is amazing, baffling, and astonishing. I've never read a book that had so much relations to myself and yet so much difference. Please open this book, and I mean please; you're not going to regret it, I promise you. Everything that you learn in this book will never be forgotten. Hence, why don't we start on this fabulous adventure? A story of friendship, honesty, self-discovery, acceptance, and forgiving and forgetting awaits.

     I'm not good at friendships, I'll tell you that. I get betrayed, I feel jealousy, I can back-stab. That's why I love Ruby (the main character) so much; she does everything her own way, even if it's wrong. I've never learned how to stay perfectly nice and normal in a friendship; sure, sometimes it's irritating, but most of the time, it's unstoppable. Bad friends, good friends; all labels, but are they really that necessary? I know in a way that all my friends are just doing what they think is best; not what anybody else thinks. So when Ruby gets told off by her best friend and her group of friends, I can really see the short fumes all of her friends have. I know Ruby is not a perfect person and if even I can accept her, why can't her own friends accept her? I've always seen friendship as a thing that's easy to bend and break and I know that sometimes we bend it way too hard. And maybe Ruby did bend a little more than everyone else, but that's her way of living and making a friendship. What she's done is right, in her point of view. There is no right and there is no wrong; there's only the road that you choose to take.

     I've never had a voice inside me, never. When I got into challenges that I couldn't overcome, I would give up and cower in fear. Sometimes I wouldn't even be able to tell the truth; I would just lie or say nothing. Ruby is the kind of girl that I am; shy, voiceless, powerless. Over the years, I've learned that speaking up guarantees you an image that makes you seem strong and powerful; Ruby has learned too. Ruby is the girl who you would identify as not too opinionated, but too weak. She really never speaks of her own thoughts; instead, she wells them up in her heart where she can't tell anyone. And sad enough, I'm just like her. I like to think that I'm not afraid to speak and not afraid to tell the world what's really up, but truth is, I'm as scared as Ruby. I guess our modernized society had taught me that no one really cares, no matter how much they seem like it. So I wonder, is it really my fault that I've been taunted by society? Or can we blame society? Well, I believe that everyone has influenced society itself and that's why everybody's so scared and just... threatened by it. Honesty is the best policy, but who says it's the best inspiration?

     Speaking of everyone these days, I would like to say that every single person on Earth is led by other people. They are influenced, pressured, taught by other people; not themselves. It hurts me severely to know that Ruby is just like that. I'm pretty much all for being myself and I must admit, it is hard. Everyone's always doing what the majority is doing and that leaves no space for themselves and definitely no place for self-discovery. I hate to say this, but everyone is dependent on each other. There's no way of being without another person there for us to cope with. Ruby is the girl who will do anything to be known, to be popular; even if it means that she would have to do things she never, ever thought of doing. She worries about perfect, good-for-nothing people and they're who Ruby truly wants to be. So again: did we really do this to society? Is our world really this shallow? I'm starting to believe so, I fear. Personalities and love are being thrown out for looks and wealth.

     As for Ruby wanting to be anything, but a social outcast, she reminds me of my own life. You see, accepting others is not easy and particularly hard for others. I've gotten used to names and insults because of my looks, my race, and even because of how I laugh. I mean, how superficial are we, people? I know exactly what Ruby is feeling and I know it's not a good feeling to have. All Ruby wants to be is popular and to be easily accepted but what she doesn't know is what she really wants in life. She can't help but impact on other people's opinions.  She's scared of being hurt and rejected, but in while she's busy trying to get ''hot'' and known, she's really hurting herself. She can't see that her life is based on other people's views and thoughts. And that's just how easy it is to get affected by acceptance. I try to believe that we are all the same things and we're all equal, but everyday, someone or something changes that thought. I'm struggling, just like Ruby, to get the respect I deserve.

     This theme is the topic that I've been aching to tell you about: forgiving and forgetting. My friend always tells me this and sometimes she even uses it to go against me, but when I think about it, it's not at all easy to forget, much less forgive. I've had obstacles thrown at me and troubles I've strained to get rid of and they always be a permanent part of my brain; they not only remind me daily that I've faced harder times, but they show me that life isn't always a dream. So, by now, you probably think I'm an evil person who never seems to forget about anything, but I'm just speaking in the view of Ruby's friends. I know that back-stabbing the evil term here and how when it really happens, all your good memories can be completely erased. I just wonder how and why some people aren't able to forgive. Forgiveness is a present that can never be bought and that's what's so special about it. I've forgave about a hundred mistakes other people made and Ruby has too. She learns along the way that to forgive one person, you must understand the person. I've never received completely 100 percent of understanding and so I've never given it, but even a little bit of understanding goes a long way. Understanding is a thing you can always try to do, even if you end up failing.

     This book was not only satisfying, but understanding (wink-wink), humorous, and usually perceived by the mind as ''unforgettable''. You're going to love this book and the emotions dug deep inside it. Authentic and sincere, Ruby will never leave you in this book.

Weekly Blog Post: Shanghai Girls

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

     Another beautiful book is told yet again. This story of two Shanghai girls astonished me and touched not only my heart, but my mind too. Not too often do you find a book that does that. And so I open this book to wonders that are portrayed in the mid-1900's. This is a story that will sweep you off of your feet; that will bring you to a place so unfamiliar that you'll feel as if you were transported to there. This is a powerful novel that you won't ever let go. So jump into this moving story of family, appreciation, responsibility, friendship, and of course: remembering where you come from.

     When I think of family these days, I think of problems. Problems that would arise if one were to make that crack in my family. I've learned that family is a fragile thing and I can tell that Pearl and May- the two Shanghai girls- learns that too. But occasionally I don't think of problems in my family, but I just think of how my family will always be there for me, no matter what. Pearl and May are sisters and they learn to lean on each other; along with learning to cry on each others shoulders.They depend on each other and that makes me see the bond they have with each other; it's truly ravishing. But their relationship with their parents is distant (much like mine) and it hurts to see two girls who try so hard to love their parents, but their parents only seem to notice them once in a while. Pearl and May try hard to be obedient daughters and they try to respect their parents, but it's like their parents are oblivious to them. And yes, that's very much like my relationship with my parents and I guess every teenager's parents as well. It's like that feeling of never accomplishing something and it aggravates me to see myself  try so hard to just receive a simple  ''Okay.''. It's a delicate emotion, but that doesn't mean it's difficult to obtain.

     Now, when I think of never being able to make (some) people happy, I start to think whether they appreciate me or not. I do well in school, believe me, and I try to help out around my family, but it's that feeling of invisibility that drives me wild. So I can really feel Pearl and May; they only want to be noticed. But the thing is that they don't appreciate their parents just as much. I mean, I wouldn't be one bit upset if my dad was the richest man in the country, I lived in a huge mansion with servants, and I was a ''beautiful girl'' in Shanghai. I see how Pearl and May suffer from never being given the parental love they were supposed to receive, but they're vain; cold and they can't seem to think about the feelings of others. I wish they would see that they're already living a luxurious life with no distressing past at all. Somehow they make me think of myself though. My parents have always been there for me and I've never once thought about what would happen if everything left me. Nowadays, my parents work long, harsh hours just to see me have a future, but sometimes I can't think about it- it's just too... painful. In a way, I am Pearl and May; the girls who try to fight their way out of miserable thoughts. They never think of something bad that could ever happen in their life- never did they once did they imagine their lives spilling out like a bag of marbles; and of course, the unimaginable happens.

     Don't get me wrong, Pearl and May know exactly where they stand and they know what they have to do. So when I see these two sisters try their best for a shot at their future, I see that they're not afraid to fight. I'm the type of person who speaks with words; not actions. So you can see that I'm not good at being responsible; I've been everywhere from broken promises to taking the blame. I've learned that not everyone can keep responsibilities and it is hard. Pearl and May are responsible for where they are now and it's a wonder to see where they had ended up. I have always been responsible for something and if I was accused of doing something wrong, I would take the blame on myself. I've grown up thinking that my responsibility was to take the blame for something and then never doing it again. Then I realized that everyone has responsibilities; so everyone has a part in the blame. So I've been where Pearl and May has been; a place where you feel as if the whole world is weighted on your very own shoulders.

     When I was in Elementary School, I realized what a cold, cold person one could be. I am of Asian descent and therefore I had a dozen kids at my school make fun of me and tease me. What I didn't understand was why they were doing this to me; not once did I tease another person simply because of his or her's race. I've learned at a young age that everyone's the same, no matter what the race (huge cliche, ha ha). I see that Pearl and May has grown up thinking something else different in terms of race and maybe that's why they suffer so much when they arrive in a whole new world: San Francisco. They try hard to avoid the lo fan or the Whites so they wouldn't get caught then get sent back; they try to bear with being in a whole new position in a newly found place. They try to make to make friends (much like me trying to make friends with people that I later learned would never like me), but instead they are rejected by society and only accepted by their new in-law family. I see these two girls as two people trying to just get by, but they are merely kicked out of the world that they have fought so hard to get there.

     Many times in my life have my family called me a chok sing which basically means hollow bamboo. And the reason they call me this? It's because they think I'm too Americanized and far more American than Chinese. Whenever they call me this, I can only think of where I come from and how I will remember it. Now, Pearl and May, these two girls don't give up on being Shanghai girls; they fight for their culture and although they struggle while doing this, you know what they are: modern, beautiful, Shanghai girls. And you're reminded on every page that Pearl and May grasp a strong hold to who they are and where they have come from. I wish I could be like that; so headstrong in my culture in race, but I don't think that way. I only think of being different from my culture (something that Pearl tries to do while holding on to her old culture). I can't remember lots of bits from my childhood anymore; it frightens me that I barely know myself. Pearl and May; these two are each others memories of their old life; their only memory. So even though they're building to their future right at this moment; they're still memories and postcards of the past.

    The is a powerful book you'll never in your life forget. This outstanding story of family and the bonds that tie you together to make one is unforgettable. In this story, you'll see two girls with everything transform to two girls that are just trying to survive. This pragmatic book will hand over to you a tale of two beautiful, glorious girls who aren't just girls, but Shanghai Girls.

Weekly Blog Post: A Walk To Remember

A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks

     There was a time when the world was sweeter... when the women in Beaufort, North Carolina wore dresses, and the men donned hats... And so begins another touching and satisfying Sparks novel. I'm already used to his fascinating work, but this book was completely and utterly great. So touching, it gave me goosebumps. The extraordinary story of a boy and girl had never been told like this and you will never, ever forget this book. So dive into the wonders of young love, second chances, friendship, regret, and wait for it- believing in yourself, in miracles, and anything that can happen.

     Young love: probably the most bland topic to talk about ever since Romeo and Juliet. But revisit the magical possibilities of young love in this book between two people that never could've been paired together before. First, meet Landon Carter, the bad boy who's had a nice reputation. Now meet Jamie Sullivan, the girl who's never broke a single rule in her life and has always stayed on the boundaries of being the perfect daughter- and student. When I think about their relationship, I think stereotypes. This story is actually told in the late 1950's and even then there were major stereotypes. Think about today, where stereotypes lurk in every corner. But not only do I think about stereotypes, but I think about how lovely it would be to just be with someone who's completely different from who you are. I've always been with friends that could relate to this and relate to that, but I never had a friend that was not my type. Ha ha, not my type. Again with the stereotypes! But like I was saying before, all my friends were on the same page as I was so when Landon fell for Jamie, I felt, I don't know..., out of place. I can see their relationship is out of place too, with all the fights and disagreements, but then again, this is young love.

     So you can really see that Landon and Jamie don't get along too well, but they're doing okay... And it's
only a matter of time before someone does something that makes the relationship topple over. That night when Landon finally blurts out everything he's been feeling about Jamie ever since he's been hanging out with her, he doesn't feel good. I wouldn't either, I mean, what he said was more than insulting and humiliating. But what doesn't surprise me is that Landon's friends had caused him to have this outburst; teasing about him and Jamie being a couple, taunting him about it... It's the basic stereotype thing everyone knows: the popular guy should be with the popular girl, not with the girl who carries the Bible around her everywhere. I can remember liking someone way out of my league and it's hurtful and you can't just forgive and forget about it that easily. I felt so embarrassed and mortified and really, everything that Jamie felt that night when Landon yelled at her. But forgiving is like moving on; once you do it, you have to forget about the past. So it's also about giving second chances just so you could forgive and forget; not mope around all day trying to make yourself feel better.

     My friends, the ones who I've cherished until they began to go against me. Hard to accept, but you know you have to go against them to. So when Landon really begins to ''rebel'' against his friends, it's hard for him, you can see it. But maybe friends go away so you can learn to let go. Everything happens for a reason, right? So anyway, Landon begins to truly enjoy life without trying to please everyone with this pressuring society on his back. He lets go and he's himself, really himself. I miss the old person that I used to be, but what can I say? That it's too late to change? No. I used to not care about what everyone thought and lived life without trying to make everyone happy while I was truly unhappy. Now you guess where I'm at right now. Landon seems so happy without all his friends on his back and that's what made me realize that everybody noticed you. No matter what you did, someone would notice you. And everyone could either be there for you or just desert you. But Landon's friends, you can see that his friends truly do love him, and it's so riveting to see this friendship move just as it used to.

     Over these years, I seem to regret more and more often. So it's really sweet to meet a guy who doesn't regret anything: Landon. Over taunts, teases, and mocks, Landon is still quite proud of meeting Jamie. I love how he refuses to give in and he's still proud of things that had happened. I'm always thinking back and trying to fix everything, but sometimes it's easier to just go with the flow. I try to forget and try hard to not regret, but sometimes terrifying thoughts end up inside my head once more. But maybe regretting is just trying to make you remember all the things you've done. Regret makes sure that you won't forget so it won't happen again. I think of the past way more often than you think and it's scary to move on. It's scary to know that one day you'll forget everything so regret traps these thoughts inside your head. So like Landon, I try to obtain everything that's happened- just so I wouldn't ever forget.

     Miracles; one word with so much meaning in it. I used to think they were stupid and made up, but these days I'm starting to actually rely on miracles- just like Landon. Landon has lots of wrongs that I haven't mentioned of touched on, but the main problem is him always doubting himself in numerous situations. He's pessimistic, really and somehow, he reminds me of myself. I'm always trying to think of worst case scenarios just so I wouldn't be let down, but then I see that it's hurting me. I don't even have enough strength to believe in myself most of the time. Now Jamie, she never fails to succeed in anything she does, and throughout the book, some of her optimistic side actually rubs off on me. I never believed that I could make anything happen, and sometimes it really made me see life an obstacle that I could never sustain. But Landon; he believes more and more in himself, in miracles, and in all the possibilities in the world and he does it for Jamie. He changes his views and perspective on life and it helps him live through everything- even 40 years later.

     So when reading this book, just remember to believe. Anything, no matter what, can happen. This book had taught me a lesson no person, much less a book, could've taught me. This book is amazing and it's going to change you- you've been warned.

Weekly Blog Post: Dairy Queen

Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Spoiler Alert
   
     This book will be the most real and genuine book you will ever find. Why? Not because the characters are relating and just like you (thankfully, because I was getting tired of those characters), but because this girl right here, D.J, is a heroine. She is the weirdest girl you will ever find, trust me, but this is what makes her so, so... right. I mean, I can't even imagine D.J being anyone else, but herself. But what is she? No matter what you think of her, it all comes down to this: She's a diligent farm girl  who plays football and is basically a person who doesn't always get guys. Don't you like her already? I wouldn't ever find this girl in a story, but here she is. D.J Schwenk. The kind of girl who you'll never meet on a daily basis. But you'll never forget this loving and heartwarming story of family, acceptance, stereotypes, honesty, and love.

     D.J's family is... odd. They make her cry, make her happy, and make her wake up at 5 in the morning everyday. But when I read this book, I saw that her family wasn't really family, but just friends that live with her. D.J seems like a complete outsider. And I can tell you that being an outsider is not good. A month or so ago, my friend told me that I was so different from my family. Like I was marching to my own drum. I felt a stinging feeling inside me then because I knew that my friend was right. But like D.J, I didn't do much about it anyway. I just went with the flow since I didn't want to say anything. I could, but I didn't. D.J's parents are stringent and thinks that all their children will be futile if they don't follow the right road. D.J was obedient and never dared to speak up until...never. I can see that Mrs. Schwenk and Mr. Schwenk just want the best for D.J, but they don't allow her to make her own choices. And it's not that D.J's being disrespectful or anything like it, but the Schwenks force their children to roads already imprinted. My parents are the very same; they spent all their life hoping that one day, one of their children would be smart and take responsibilities on then get an amazing job. But roads that are already made somethings get paved; just like D.J'S.

     How would you feel if one day you learned that your best friend had a secret that she never told? Betrayed, lost, deceived... those were all of what D.J was feeling when she realized that her best and closest friend Amber told her about something she never would've guessed: Amber's lesbian. I have a cousin who's actually lesbian and I know it's hard for her. My father and mother, they all disapprove of that decision. But I know how hard it is to be different; you feel like you can't talk to anyone and you're all alone. And there's the catch: accepting someone who's different. It's hard to truly understand someone, but that's mainly because people don't know how to listen; they talk. D.J is the opposite of that. When Amber first exposes this secret to her, D.J listens, alright, but she can't say anything. She simply doesn't know what to say. When someone tells you this secret that's been kept away for who-knows-how-long, what do you feel? I would be in awe, to be honest. I would be shocked to my bones and probably be frozen right there. So just imagine D.J, the girl who has never talked much, being in that situation. She could've dropped right on her knees. The thing is that people mistake silence for a mere ''no'' or a simple rejection. Silence means awestruck, silence means shock. But just because you're different doesn't mean you're a rejection from society. People can accept, heck, they have to learn to accept.

     But some things everyone refuses to let go are stereotypes and breaking them. From this point on can you really imagine D.J having a gorgeous football quarterback boyfriend? Guess not. But that's just the power of stereotypes. Stereotypes are somehow built and molded into your brain and it changes all your views on anything. My neighborhood is full of different races from Muslim to Hispanic. But when I see a Hispanic person walking down the street wearing a do-rag or gang clothing of any sort, I immediately think that that person must be in a gang or that person must be failing badly in school. Thing is, stereotypes are everywhere. I've actually told my friend that her ear piercing was ''stereotypical'' since almost everyone of our race has it. So you must see where I stand when it comes to D.J dating Brian Nelson, the guy that changes D.J's life forever. I think it's sweet and unique, but it's out of the blue. It's even strange. But the football captain doesn't have to always date the pretty cheerleader captain; it can actually be another football player. This book demonstrates that nothing has to be normal to work; sometimes it's the weirdest of a combination.

     Honesty has never been my strong side for me. I would rather lie than tell he truth most of the time, but that's just me. But honestly isn't all about secrets and lies, but it's about really speaking up for your own opinions and being honest about it. Sure, I do know some people are way too honest, but D.J is the exact opposite of those kinds of people. She's quiet and her feelings are worthless since they would never be spoken to make a difference. When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up being not said. And D.J, she honestly thinks that her opinions and feelings don't weigh too much. So maybe honesty is the best policy or maybe it's just a way of being true to the people you love. I have learned to speak up over these past years and actually be real and true, but not everyone can pull it off like that; I certainly can't. But what you feel is not only for you, but for everyone. So maybe you can be more honest and true, one word at a time.

     Ah, love. Isn't everywhere these days? Well, not in D.J's world. She doesn't expect to fall in love, she doesn't expect to actually like Brian and she definitely doesn't expect to actually get along with him. But D.J, this country klutz, falls for this boy who hasn't worked a single hard day in his life, and it's amusing to see such a ''tough'' girl to fall or such a snotty, upper class boy. But anyway, that's just stereotypes speaking. But love isn't always easy. D.J hides in the bushes from Brian just so she could keep this friendship going. She didn't want anything, anything, to go wrong so she made sure there were no wrongs in this relationship. And the price she ad to pay was losing her face, dignity, and yes, honesty right in front of Brian. But through this wacky relationship, you see the two of them grow on each other right before your eyes. It's not that often that I see anyone mold onto a person that they never thought they could even be friends with. So love is unique, and hey, who said love wasn't hard?

     D.J was a girl that I thought I would never meet and she was unique, crazy, fun, wild, real, and authentic to herself. She wasn't trying to be anything, but herself. It's hard to find someone like this and it's one in a million if you end up meeting someone like D.J because everyone follows by the rules of society. So when you do meet a person like D.J, say hi to that person for me. D.J can't be anyone else and won't be anyone else, but herself. D.J is a total klutz, but she's still one heck of a person. So really reach to this book and maybe it'll reach to you too.

Weekly Blog Post: The Joy Luck Club

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

     I remember how I felt when I first got this book; alone, upset, afraid. But when I opened the book, the first thing I felt was comfort. I felt a soothing gentle voice that would lead me all through the book. I have some dark memories that no one would want to hear, but I want to tell you that this book is amazing. It breaks your heart and puts it back together again. And sometimes that's exactly what you need. A book with words so touching that you never really know when you'll start to cry or when you'll start to laugh. This book is so powerful and it will never leave you once you read this book. And don't get me wrong; I'm not only saying this because I'm the same race (Chinese) as the ladies in this book, but because it will really mesmerize you. So come and hear this symphony of family, adolescence, obedience and rebelling, responsibility, appreciation, honestly, forgiveness, and of course, joy.

   When you think of adolescence, you really think about growing up and getting to do what you want without someone constantly nagging on you. But even more of that, is learning to really be on your own and independent as you can be. I can tell you straight up that this is hard. I've always grown up with the pressure to do this and that without really making my own choices, but this will actually help you later on in life. You'll always know the right thing to do on your own without anyone telling you to. June, Rose, Waverly, and Lena all embark on this beautiful journey of learning to grow up. I know that growing up and really having no one to support you is hard, but it's a part of learning to be an adult. Parents are strict and I would definitely know that from my own, but later on you realize that everything they had told you to do was for your own good. Now that's definitely a part of adolescence. My parents made me take ballet, piano, and Chinese classes when I was younger. They wanted me to be talented and successful just like the parents of June, Rose, Waverly, and Lena. June's mother was obsessive when it came to June becoming famous from playing piano. Hey, she just wants June to be successful, right? Rose's parents didn't want her to succumb to American lifestyles and certainly just pressured her into it. Waverly's mother made her play chess and win every game whilst bragging to her friends. Lena, well Lena's mother had given her the best, but had scared Lena away from her and Chinese lifestyles. You can see here that those parents and mothers had only wanted their children to be the best when they're older. So maybe just act a little more mature if you have to; it'll pay off.

     I bet you that every single person had done something they weren't supposed to. It could've been an accident, it could've been done on purpose. But learning to obey and listen when you have to is respectful and it's just a part of growing up. I always have to do chores or things that I really don't want to do, and it's my choice, but I do it anyway. Although, it's not like I've never rebelled or anything. I would throw tantrums, scream, yell insults that I know that have no meaning, and then cry because life was just so unfair. Sometimes you have do have to break through and really tell that person how you feel. Control is an easy thing to be taken advantage of and maybe you'll just have talk it out. June, Rose, Waverly, and Lena are... not the type of people to say sorry; just like much of the rest of our human population.They yell, they fight, they give the cold shoulder, and they can be grouchy if they want to. But what people have to understand is that you can't just think about your own feelings. If you wanted someone to obey you and they didn't, you can't just get mad, but actually try to feel how they're feeling.

     Another branch of adolescence is responsibility. When thinking of responsibility, you have to think of others that would be affected, not just yourself. Just carrying on something like you're supposed to can make things better and day after day, you would get more responsible. No one can really just drop everything and leave. No matter how much everyone wants to do that, they can't. We all know that it's our responsibility to go on with life, even in the hardest of times. None of the girls are really that responsible, but you can always see that they're hesitating to do something. Like, when Rose was trapped in the thought of wanting to get divorced, but way too afraid to speak to her mother about it. When it comes to doing what you have to do, you really have to just get it over with; no matter how painful it is. I remember saying this once to a friend and sometimes I really think that telling people just how you feel is your responsibility. You can't rely on  everyone to just know your thoughts; even if they can try to see things from your point of view. Just speak and I'm sure that someone will listen. Someone will always be there for you and that's hard to believe, but just believe it. because your responsibility is to just. live throughout life.

   Going back to those ballet and piano classes, I still remember how much I dreaded those classes. Only older did I realize that my mom spent hard earned money just for me so I could have a shot at becoming successful. When I took those classes, I was still very young, and at that time my parents had never really taught me to care about others feelings. And so I didn't appreciate anything. It's hard to imagine a life without your parents there for you and some day they'll be gone. Forever. So really appreciate them; they house you, they feed you, they clothe you. June's mother was fanatical when it came to June playing the piano. She even promised to be the teacher's housekeeper for money so June could play the piano. I don't know about you, but I would appreciate my mother if she had done that.But June defies her mother's wishes for her own and after that, their relationship becomes loose although her mother bought her a piano to make her happy again. June realizes that she should cherish that piano since her mother did buy it for her. It comes to show you that just showing a little bit of appreciation can go a long way.

    I had always been the different one of my family; always rebelling, always lying so I could get away from the truth... But why lie when you know that the truth is the easier path? I have asked myself that question so many times that I've actually up of an answer: Because the truth hurts. Just like Rose's hated divorce, just like June's forced love for piano, just like Waverly's forced love for chess. I can still remember every single lie I've told and I still remember how hurt my mother looked when she finally found out the truth. But the truth is, honesty doesn't hurt. Lying and hiding hurts you. Just looking back now, I can see that it took me a long time to finally get that. Just admitting that you were wrong is a long way, and it means that you're not afraid to tell the truth and not afraid to grow up. My lies were drastic and deep and it really cut my relationship with my family in half. Lying is just a way of shielding yourself from the rest of the world; it doesn't really help you. But, yeah, maybe sometimes lying is the easier choice since it won't get you in trouble and what not. Although, who in this world can really stand lying for the rest of their lives? Lying is for the weak, for the ones who are afraid, But I can tell you that June, Rose, Waverly, and Lena are not weak. And neither am I.

     I had always forgave my friends when they hurt me. I just thought it was the way of life. I used to let my friends treat me like the piece of garbage that I never really was. I never really stopped to think: Why do they treat me like this? But over time, I realized that saying sorry is not enough. It's cheap and it could even be fake... But maybe just letting go of grudges can make things heal back. Just forgiving someone who's truly sorry can improve a relationship and make it stronger. Sometimes just accepting something for what it is is better. Of all the flaws June, Rose, Waverly, and Lena had made, they were still forgiven by their parents They were still accepted. So forgiving and forgetting is really important sometimes.

      Joy. What a wonderful thing to have, although it's not always that easy to obtain.My mother had always bagged about me not being happy around her or anyone in our family. She said I never smiled or acted happy, and she was right. I was bad-tempered around her since she never really understood me; she was crabby all the time from having to take care of a baby daughter and having to work long, hard hours. I never realized how much someone's smile was worth and it hurt not only my mother, but my father too. I didn't like him for an apparent reason and so I never wanted to talk to him. I was rude to him even when he was at his nicest mood. I always wanted to punch him in the face. But this book taught me that one's family is a very important and fragile thing. I saw June's happiness even when she felt uncomfortable and I saw Waverly's easiness when it came to chess and how her mother bragged and gossiped everyday about her, but Waverly still acted like she was in a comfortable position. Lena, the one who's mother was slightly crazy, acted happy around her mother no matter how much she knew that her mother would never really ask her about her feelings. And Rose. She faked that smile on her face along; throughout nights with her husband, throughout uncomfortable conversations with her mother. Every girl showed happiness even in their darkest times. So, really, a smile can mean a thousand words.

   This book taught me to enjoy life and to smile when I had to. This book really taught me how to love even when I didn't feel like it. This book was the only thing I could turn to when I had no one to talk to. Know that someday everything will fall in place. No matter how doubtful you are sometimes, you'll always have someone to lean on. So don't lose faith, hope, or joy.




    

Weekly Blog Post: Peace, Love, And Baby Ducks

Peace, Love, And Baby Ducks by Lauren Myracle

          You know that amazing feeling you get inside you of when you realize you can totally relate to your book? Well, this feeling has never left me once when I was reading this gorgeous book. This book tells you that you're not the center of the world; so don't try to be it. I can't tell you how many times I have met someone like this, but what I can tell you is that the more attention you beg for, the less attention you receive. So again, this book is really important and it will be important to you if you read it. But this book also tells a fascinating and eye-catching story of adolescence, family and friends, being different, and (why, of course) love.

          Now, let's discuss more one attention. Attention is not a fragile thing and it can be easily placed. But sometimes it is placed in the wrong hands. Carly, the main character doesn't want attention, but by that, she actually gets it. Now Trista, is supposedly the evil girl who ruins everything. Pair her up with Lydia and Peyton (Carly's friends) and you would get one those mega popular cliques that lets everyone know that they're superior, inferior, and will not be knocked down. The thing is that you can see that those kind of girls are practically crying for attention. Not attractive. But sometimes it's not that person's fault; maybe they just get attention without even noticing it. Anna is Carly's younger sister with a ton of spunk and a body that every single girl wants. But it's not Anna's fault that every boy whistles when she passes by. Carly actually blames Anna for having such ''nice'' features and it really makes me wonder: What if someone close insulted me like that? The problem wouldn't be in my hands anymore; it would be on everyone's hands. Anna can't seem to control it and neither can the whole female population. Now, that might seem a bit conceited, but it won't seem that way if you really knew that person (and for this case, the person is Anna).

          But handling attention is part of your responsibility and it's also part of growing up and going through adolescence. Carly's the type of sister who's super protective of her younger siblings. Now this can be positive if Anna was the type to be easily caught up in drugs, but Anna's way above that. Carly seems to want Anna to always stay her little sister, not younger sister. My parents are like that and sometimes it goes a little overboard. Your children or siblings will grow up and they will all grow up no matter how much you want them to stop. Truth is, there's no stopping someone from growing up. Carly seems to learn that along the book and she basically accepts the fact that everyone will grow up. She was actually not learning to grow up herself and it made her seem too careful. I've always been the type to make sure I copied the homework write or maybe just write two more paragraphs in case. But Carly seems as if she's ignorant to the rest of the world. She wants to do everything her way and she can't see that everyone else has feelings too. This again is Carly learning to grow up and learning to understand people even if you don't like them. Carly actually made up these ''rules'' that nobody could break; does this seem a little immature to you? Because it seems that Carly doesn't want anyone to think differently from her. I know how she feels, but this is wrong; it really is. My mother actually puts me through this suffrage and now I can really see that Carly's friends and little sister is really hurting.

          Accepting other people is just learning how to make friendships and how to build relationships with your family. Rejecting everyone's feelings and opinions is not a good way to live; trust me. I used to think that everyone else was a wrong and I was right no matter what. I can tell you that it does feel good because it makes you feel higher than everyone else, but what about the feelings of the people you hurt? Anna seems like the one that takes the most blows from Carly. But Anna doesn't stand up for herself and tell Carly about her flaws. Friends and family talk it out, no matter how hard it is. You don't just silently sulk about your friends without just telling them what's wrong. Friends are like jewels; you either have it or you don't. Making everyone else seem unsuitable will just make you friends and family more distant from you. So maybe just trying listening then go ahead and talk. But maybe sometimes you are right, but just remember nobody's perfect and you'll always make mistakes in your life. You'll always have your friends and family for that and they'll always guide you through those mistakes.

          Accepting everyone, including the ones you can't relate to is hard, but being different is no shame. Let's just say that Carly completely lives by that rule of always being different and always not seeming to be like everyone else. When you think about it, it's sort of tiring to always be the unique one. This is where Carly is at. She makes everyone think she's different, but she's really not. I don't try to be different; I just try to be me. I know a lot of people who think they're different and what not, but they just seem like everyone else. This again brings us to the attention problem. Carly doesn't want attention, but she gets it anyway and yet she still eggs Anna on getting attention. That isn't fair no matter which way you look at it. So maybe just being yourself is the better road; not trying to be as wacky as you could be.

          But some people love you no matter what kind of person you are. I can say my friends are like this and I hope they'll always be like this. Carly's been through so much and she changes from this to that, but her best friend, Roger, is always there for her. He's not Carly's type, but you can see that Carly's just blinded by the fact that she has a crush on hot guy that will never like her. I hate people like that (although I might be one of them) that can't even see that what they've always wished for has been there right on their nose this whole time. But hey, love comes from many different ways; you'll never know. The fact that Carly is not only ignorant to other people's feelings, but also ignorant to believing that somebody else could like her is simply revolting. Carly seems to miss out on a lot of things that are way more important than her thoughts and she doesn't seem to get that. I know most people like thinking about things their way, but seeing something from a whole entire new view can be great too. So maybe just create a little ore space for the people you love; they deserve it.

           This book let me see a whole new world that I've never dared to step out into. It gave me not a only an entertaining read, but a lesson on life as well. And it can relate to me. So maybe just pick up this book just to share the peace, love, and maybe even baby ducks. Just don't stop thinking about the people you love!

Weekly Blog Post: The Fashion Disaster That Changed My Life

The Fashion Disaster That Changed My Life by Lauren Myracle

          Have you ever felt left out or out of place? Well, I can tell you I have and it is not a good feeling. This book reaches inside your heart and tells you that sometimes it's okay to be the person that's different. I love this book so much because it's relating and it might be a bit of a cliche, but it teaches you a lesson that everyone is perfect just the way they are. This book taught me the beautiful themes of uniqueness, friendship, and real friendship, insecurity, stereotypes, trust, love, and forgiving and forgetting.

          Alli, the main character, is the girl who's never been popular until the first day of seventh grade, when her mother's underwear is stuck to her pants. It sounds strange, but that's really what makes Alli so different from the others. I like to think of the "others" as people who think of themselves as normal and perfect. The truth is that everyone's crazy and unique in their own way; you just need to find a way to express it. I used to be a shy, shy girl until I realized that who are is who you are and nothing can change that. So what if I don't have gorgeous, designer clothes? So what if I don't put on make-up every single day? Sometimes being yourself is really the key to everything else since you know, being yourself is a part of believing in yourself. Alli shows so much insecurity that you would think that one insult could smash her down like a house of cards, but you can see that Alli is a real girl. The kind of girl that won't fake her feelings towards someone else and the kind of girl that won't act like a jerk just because she can. Alli portrays a girl that has flaws just like the rest of us and she makes me see that there's no point in trying to hide yourself; have no shame in yourself.

            Having friends is such a big deal to everyone and that's why so much so-called friends have such a remote relationship. Alli doesn't know everyone and she doesn't try to know everyone because well, not everyone will be her friend. But Alli does adapt a relationship to the popular girls: Rachel, Mika, and Hadley. When you think of it, being the friends of the popular people is such a great way to get yourself popular. But having a lot of these friends that you can't even share a secret with is frightening and that is why I only want one close relationship, not an innumerable amount of relationships.

          Friendship of course, relates to trust. When you can't trust someone, you probably won't be able to communicate with them in a close way. Learning to trust is part of learning to build relationships and it's just as important as the relationship itself. Alli doesn't even trust her popular friends and that reveals her true feelings about them; she is only friends with them because they're cool and practically famous. Trusting is part of bonding and Alli doesn't seem to realize that. She doesn't exactly take Rachel or Mika for granted, but she can't relate to them. She doesn't have anything to do with them. Would you really want friends like that? Sure, they're the favorites of the school, but a a real friendship is more of a connection with someone. I hate those fake friendships where you don't really even like your friend, but you pretend anyway. It's irritating to know that your friend could flake out on you anytime she wants to. But that's a part of trusting; you either have it or you don't.

          When there are fake friendships, there are real friendships. I've been in dozens of those fake and pretend friendships that I have a hard time trusting anyone. But Alli treats her friends like diamonds and it's all best friends forever until Alli develops a friendship with Rachel, Mika, and Hadley. From then on Alli starts to ignore her best friends Kathy and Megan. Alli turns away from them and it's heart-breaking to see such a beautiful friendship close up in such a harsh way. But Kathy and Megan still end up being there for Alli and that proves how much they love Alli. They actually like her for who she is and they're not afraid to point out her wrongs. That's a the main point in a real friendship; telling each other what's wrong. I've never been that kind of friend and I regret it because that's what real friends do. Accepting each other is part of being friends and it doesn't matter how different they are; just as long as they get along and fight along the way. Why fight in such a real relationship? Because that's what makes it real. Real friends have fights, disagreements, arguments, and maybe even physical fights too. But apologizing and admitting you're wrong is part of a friendship.

          Kathy, Megan, and Alli forgive each other's mistakes and it makes me think of my friend and I. We constantly lash out at each other, constantly irritate each other, but these fights make me think of how if we didn't have them, we wouldn't ever know what was wrong. Nothing really matters until the moment you realize you're doing something wrong. But thinking about fights forever won't help; that's why you forgive and forget. Some people see fights as things you'll never forget and while that's actually true, fights should be forgotten. They happen so next time, it won't happen again. Forget about it and try healing back your friendship; dragging on all the fights you've been through will just arouse your feelings of despise for your friend.

          But I do realize that Kathy is an insulter. She always insults Alli, calling her a wannabe and a chubby girl. I know that maybe Kathy is just trying to point out Alli's flaws, but her insults for her are over the top and really rude. Kathy seems a little insecure to me and although most of the time it's not that big of a deal, sometimes it is and it can be. Kathy appears to be pointing out Alli's problem when she calls her a  wannabe, but she just sounds like she's a mean girl when she calls Alli chubby. This is not the idea of love and friendship; this is just being lowbred to your own friend. Kathy also stereotypes the whole school. That's annoying since there's a clique for that and a clique for this. She doesn't go against it; she seems like she supports it. The idea that revolves around Alli trying to be popular because she's hanging out with popular people is very stereotypical. Maybe Alli just wants more friends. Kathy sounds so jealous of Alli and she evens grab a hold of a bunch of new friends. Sometimes being plain friend is good enough; there's simply no need to try to spice things up. I never ever try to start fights because they always end up being so nasty just like Kathy was acting towards Alli. Fights can be brutal even if they are just trying to tell you you're doing something wrong.

          This book dragged me out of me deepest problems and made me think on a different perspective: How would the other person feel? The story of Alli is a story of friendship and everything that revolves around it. Friends won't be here forever so cherish them while they're here; they deserve it.
  

Weekly Blog Post: Revised Kissing Kate

Kissing Kate  by Lauren Myracle
Special thanks to Joyce Lu, my wonderful partner for this assignment. 
My original blog post.
          This book is a beautiful book and I wished I read this book earlier. It not only touches my heart, but I know it touches other teenager's hearts too. This book has only one problem: being gay. But just one problem can cause so many things like loss of friendship and rejection and maybe even learning to move on. The problems that Lissa (the main character) are facing can connect to so much people.

          First of all, being gay and actually saying something about it. Lissa's problem is being gay and because I'm not gay, so that kind of puts me in her own shoes. What would it be like if I was a closet gay? What would I do if all my friends left because of it? I would probably be way more immature than Lissa for sure. But that doesn't mean she's doing a such a great job on handling this situation; she doesn't even talk to anyone about it and that makes me think ''Hey, it's not all her fault. She just doesn't want to tell anyone.'' But the thing is that she seems ashamed of herself. My parents have always told me to be normal and to end up like a good girl and I knew that if I did something out of the blue, they would make be feel so ashamed and embarrassed. That makes me think about how Lissa feels and what a hard time she's having, but part of being who you are is actually saying it. Who cares what anyone else thinks? This book really taught me a good lesson on being who you are and not just following anyone else. My friend actually lives by this theme and I know that you should be yourself, but sometimes it's hard to. I can definitely relate to Lissa in this situation. You want to be yourself but at the same time you don't want to.
         
           This book makes me think about how everyone is different and unique and how you can't fight against that even if you are different. If I were Lissa, I would just get over about how I think I'm gay. I mean, Lissa had one small kiss with her bestfriend, Kate. What's the big deal? I honestly think that Lissa is overreacting. She goes on about Kate and missing her because Kate had left, but Lissa didn't do anything about it; just like how she didn't do anything about being a closet gay. Lots of people are like that, but that really makes me think. Maybe the reason she didn't do anything about that was because she was scared, just like how scared people are when they see their crushes. It's our natural instincts, but even though I'm like that, I hate it. Reading this book made me hate myself and Lissa for not just doing something and getting it done. There are so much "cows" in this world. We're all scared of getting slaughtered or actually getting hurt by the ones we love (or like) that we refuse to do anything about it. Just do it because you'll never know until you try. Lissa is really the shy type so I can tell why she wouldn't just try for the heck of it, but sometimes it's easier to break through than to just stay in your little corner. 
         
          Believing in yourself plays such a major role in this story. If Lissa did believe in herself, she would've found OUT that she actually had friends that love her dearly right from the beginning. I know a lot of people including myself that would never believe in themselves under any circumstances. But if you can't trust yourself then what makes you think you can trust anyone else? I've never had any luck in believing in myself, but this book helped me a lot on that. It tells me that you should just be yourself, stop hiding, and just believe. I also have problems with learning to trust because I've been hurt way too much times, but sometimes you have to just let go. Just stop holding back and stop over thinking about things. I notice that Lissa has so many complex ideas of Kate and it's so ridiculous that you actually wonder if Lissa had known her best friend at all. But, hey, that's the thing. When you get hurt, you trust less; not more. 
         
           I realize in this book that Lissa got really hurt and it wasn't entirely her fault. It was the fact that she had a friend that wouldn't accept her. Kate's really the kind of person you don't want to mess with; she'll take you down. But Lissa didn't even mess with her and only told her the truth, but she still got pushed away and even got called a ''dyke''. I know that friends should always be there for each other and if one changes, it's usually the time to let go. Well, Lissa and I have the same problem; we can't seem to let go and just drop and forget someone just like that. When you've had a friendship with someone long enough, you want it to last; not end. But the fact that someone is insulting you and practically pushing you down makes me think of Lissa as a weak, weak girl. One tumble and she's shattered on the floor. The thing that gets to me is that she CAN move on, she CAN forget Kate. She just doesn't WANT to. She has no power whatsoever and that makes me think of myself. I honestly can start crying from one small little thing and the never forget about that little thing. I have no power over my emotions and I can't help but remember the ones that I love even if they push me down a million times. 
          
          I know that at some in life, you will need to move on. No matter what you say now, you will forget everything eventually. I learned this from Lissa who had tried everything to forget about Kate and then actually forgets about her. Some people are naive, some people are weak, some people are powerless, but everyone will move on sometime. I know a lot of people who say that they're ''recovering from moving on''. But the thing is, I completely disagree with them. Moving on makes you a whole lot stronger and you'll actually have experience. Lissa didn't complain about how hard it was to move on; she just did it and she did a great job. And sometimes it might be hard to move on, but it's just easier to forgive and forget. This book portrays this theme in many ways and I love it because it's so... real. Many people say they forgive and forget, but in actuality, they don't. They still have that part of them that won't forgive and definitely won't forget. 
          
          The last theme is that just because someone hurts you doesn't mean you have to hurt them. This partially connects with treating others the way you want to be treated. But when it comes to forgiving and forgetting, you need to let go. Who cares if someone's particularly mean to you? Just be nice and maybe you'll get to influence them. Lissa was just so much more mature than Kate and it reminded me much of my own fights with my own friends. Friendship is really a fragile thing, but just because it shatters once doesn't mean you can't glue it back together again. Instead of taking revenge, actually take the fight seriously. Throwing insults and comebacks won't make the friendship tighter; believe me. Honestly, I'm the kind of person who likes to make clever comebacks, but I try not to do it. I guess I sometimes don't try hard enough and neither does Kate, but trying harder and harder will get you a better result.
          
          This book relates to so much people, especially people who are confused about their sexuality. I feel that this book gives you a ride on a life that many people are experiencing or have experienced. This book can actually connect to people that are different in any way. When reading this book, you'll actually catch a glimpse of yourself no matter how ''normal'' you think you are.

Weekly Blog Post: The Beautiful Between

The Beautiful Between by Alyssa B. Sheinmel

          So I'm reading this wonderful book that really touches my heart. Why? Because  of the story line itself and not just the themes. Don't get me wrong, the themes are nonetheless more important than the story line. But the story line is what really got me hooked on the the book and it's so touching. The story line tells you about love, friendship, and stereotypes, family, trust, and sometimes, maybe just learning to let it all go sometimes.

          The main character, Connelly, is the girl who gets lost in the theme of love. When you think about it,  no one really knows the meaning of love and neither does Connelly. Love doesn't necessarily mean falling in love in this book and that's why I love this book so much. I think too much people supposedly ''fall'' in love and it's all so cliche and... normal. But in this book, I really see that love is a beautiful thing that doesn't get destroyed no matter what. I like how love is portrayed between Connelly and Jeremy, the boy who she suddenly gets close with, in this book. It's nice to think of love and friends because you know it's not really as much as a big deal. But that doesn't mean it's not fragile. I really see that Connelly and Jeremy have fights and disagreements and had one of those huge fights that you never, ever forget. From that, I really saw how important it is to not take friends for granted and treat them the way you want to be treated. In life, so much people treat other people like garbage and they never even consider the other person's feelings. That completely disgusts me that some people never stop to think before they say something and then, BOOM. You lost it all.

          When you lose something, you have to learn to let it go. I'm sure this is huge theme to a lot of people. Breaking up, dying, moving away; it's all part of learning to let go. For Connelly, it's learning to let go of friends and a family member. I know it's sad when you think of just moving on with life and just forgetting about the past, but it actually makes us stronger. It definitely has made me stronger. Learning to let go of something is probably really hard for some people, but I don't exactly know why. Why can't some people just stop fretting about the past? I think of the future as something to treasure; not to hate. But I do understand that moving on is sometimes part of letting yourself move on. I do know people that refuse to move on no matter what and it's so upsetting when I see them not allowing themselves to think about the future instead of the past. I know the past is important and it has a lot of meanings, but sometimes it's for the better. Connelly and Jeremy do think about the past sometimes, but they don't live in it; and that's telling me that they're becoming stronger over time. The past will affect your future, but your future is always in your hands.

          Sometimes when moving on, you need a friend. I love how Connelly and Jeremy help each other move on with their past. But it's not only the helping each other out thing I love, but the friendship as well. Connelly isn't exactly the most popular girl and Jeremy is the perfect example of a popular guy. Their friendship is just so special and it definitely beats down the stereotype of ''popular guy likes popular girl.'' Their friendship is so different from the others and so beautiful. I like the idea of having a friendship that stands out rather than just blending in with the rest. It makes Connelly and Jeremy a really good team and a good match likewise. I mean, how many of you actually see a popular guy with a unpopular girl and they're not dating? Rare, right? Well, that's what their friendship is, too.

          I like how Connelly has so much trust in Jeremy, even though he's so different from her. I know that tremendous amounts of people including myself, need to learn how to trust. Trust is a really strong bond and connection between two friends; seeing Connelly with such easiness with Jeremy showed me that trust is important. Without trust, a relationship would never last. But insecureness and untrustworthiness sometimes takes over someone's brain and we suddenly don't know who to trust. I hate that feeling because it proves that your relationship with someone is really just a simple thing; it's not a good friendship. I realized from the book that sometimes you really have to learn to trust and believe in someone, whether you like it or not.

          The last theme of this book is family and overprotection. I've always had the kind of parents who were overprotective and expecting me to get back from school then calling them so they would know that I was okay. In this book, I see that Connelly has a mother who is overprotective as well. Her mother definitely reminds me of my own, but this book didn't make me resent my mother more; but love her more. I used to think overprotecting a child was really stupid and useless, but sometimes it's for the child's own good. The parent is just trying to protect the kid from the dangers of the world; not make the child loathe their own parents. This theme really gave me a new perspective on family and overprotectiveness. I'm pretty sure most of you have heard of the story ''Rapunzel''. This book made me think about how maybe the witch was just protecting Rapunzel; not harming her. Now this made me think about how sometimes our family has to do something they really don't want to do, but they know it's for their own good.

          I love this book and it's so frayed that you can see through it; see the problems through it. This book really made me heart beat a little more faster and it made me appreciate a little more, too.

Weekly Blog Post: Let It Snow

Let It Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson, Lauren Myracle
Spoiler Alert
        
          Reading this book had been such an intense experience. In the first glance, you might think it's just some book with too many authors and ideas, but there's something more to it than that. This book has three stories to tell; three delicious stories to tell. These stories combine and clash with mix-matching themes that will move your heart. The themes are fairly different, but once you figure them all out, they really match together and fit like a puzzle piece. I will start this by talking about the first story, "The Jubilee Express". This story tells you about the magical qualities of responsibility and taking a chance.

          When you think of your responsibilities, you probably think of them as stupid things that take over your life for no reason. I know that's what I think (or used to). This story actually tells me that with responsibility, you have to be brave with them. The main character in this story is Jubilee and she has an odd responsibility. Her responsibility is to take the train by herself to Florida to stay with her grandparents. She needs to stay with them because her parents are in jail. In this situation, I can really see Jubilee doing what she has to do and taking care of herself along the way. That really makes me think about my responsibilities and how sometimes I'll have to be brave and just do it. As a young girl, my parents were practically always at work and I would have to go to bed by myself or make sure all the lights were shut off. I wonder if Jubilee was feeling brave, scared, or nothing at all. But I know that sometimes we just have to do what's right. I can actually relate this a lot to my family because they immigrated to America from China. My mother and her brother left when they were 20 and they not only left China behind, but a lot of family as well. I know that she had to risk it all for a better life and it did work out.

          Sometimes what I don't get is why some people don't just take chances. They then let their chance go by and regret it later on. Jubilee takes a chance by staying at some stranger's home and considering that she has barely known the stranger for more than a mere hour, that's pretty brave. That tells me that without taking chances, people would be nowhere. This theme is just so beautiful and it tells me to take a chance and risk it all. What's to lose? Sure, sometimes there are a lot to lose and too much to risk. But hey, you'll never know without taking a chance. Some chances could be asking your crush out, breaking up with someone, or maybe even trying out the new ice cream flavor instead of the old one you always buy. This story tells me about how that without trying, you'll always be clueless. I believe that taking chances ends up making your life better. Maybe this story tells a theme of regret too because as you all might know, taking chances can lead to regretting. But I also think that this story tells that you shouldn't regret because you would have never known if you didn't do it anyway (taking a chance, that is). How would I have known that my crush liked me too? How would I have known that my crush only liked me as a friend? By taking a chance.

          Now, on to the second story. The second story is ''A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle''. This story doesn't really have much of a variety of themes, but it shows one theme that I love a lot and probably most people do too. And what's the wonderful theme? Miracles. Just believe in miracles. I also believe that this theme leads on to something much bigger and that something is taking a risk (again).

          Everyone believes in miracles, right? Well, not necessarily. Tobin, the main character of this story doesn't really believe in anything other than well, having good friends to be there for you. But this story takes a strong hold of miracles and sprinkles them all over the place. This story tells me that miracles can happen and they will lead to another thing. I love that and I like the idea of miracles having to lead on to something else. The theme that's really appealing is that you just have to believe in miracles for them to happen. Probably a lot of people think that miracles and wishes are stupid things to believe in, but not me. I guess if you really believe in them, they will happen. Anything can happen if you just believe. I know that's a really cheesy theme and probably too much, but I like it. It's such a optimistic way of looking at things and it really gives you hope. For example, when I'm feeling down in the dumps and I keep on thinking of my high school scores, I just try to believe something good will happen. Believe to achieve!

          I'm going to bring up taking a risk again. But this time, it's something entirely different. It's not just about taking a risk in general, but taking a risk for a friendship. I know I've been through this and probably many, many people have too. When you start to like your friend, it feels sort of scary and exciting at the same time; scary because you know somewhere in your relationship something will go wrong and you two will drift apart. Tobin really faces this in a hard way because the girl he likes is a really good friend. But Tobin actually takes a risk and things up really good. If Tobin never told his friend he had feelings for her, he would have never known what would come up next. Taking a risk in this type of situation is kind of like a life or death situation (not exactly, though). Things could end up good, like for Tobin or bad as in awkward acquaintances from now on. But hey, you either win or lose.

          For the third story, ''The Patron Saint of Pigs'', it's really only two themes. It's not like this theme is boring though; its relatable and probably every single person on Earth have felt this before. This story's theme is regret and caring about others.

          Regret in general is a really broad topic, but that's how it's portrayed in the story. It takes you on a journey about a girl regretting something and doing something about it (taking a risk, again). Addie is the girl who has recently been through a break up by cheating with someone and trying to change someone. She regrets it and she ends up changing everything back to normal. But the thing is when Addie was dragging along life thinking about Jeb (her boyfriend), she had never thougt of moving on with life. That really got me thinking about how some people or maybe even myself force themselves into the past. They make themselves think that they can't move on, so they don't. I honestly hate that and I used to be like that, but not anymore. I hate the idea of trying to make yourself do something that you know is not good for you. Regret is for the weak and I have learned that from the book and real life. Do something about it and see what happens because nothing feels worse than regret. My friends have experienced regret and so have I. It really brings people down in my opinion because you're always thinking about the past. Seriously, who likes dwelling in the past? Not me.

         Addie not only has problems with her boyfriend, but her best friends as well. I notice that in the book, Addie only talks about herself. It's like I'm in her own little world and I find out that her best friends notice, too. Her friends say that she seems to ''make everything about her''. That made me think about myself. I always try to care for others and not only talk about my problems, but sometimes I feel like Addie; like I'm the only one with the problems. But this story really taught me that friendship is beautiful, but it's not and cannot always be about one person. If my best friend decided to yak everyday about her problems without even caring about mine, I would seriously be pissed off. Who wouldn't be? I can see that Addie has a lot of problems, but I notice that her friends do too. Too bad Addie never even thinks of speaking to her friends about their problems. She's a bit self-absorbed and in the end, even she notices that.

          All in all, this book was such a joyful read. It spread lots of themes and it made me see friendships and relationships with a different point of view. Just because this book is portrayed in the holidays doesn't mean you can't just pick it up and start reading it. Read into this book and you'll see so much going on in just one book.

Weekly Blog Post: Impossible

Impossible by Nancy Werlin
Spoiler Alert!

          Hey, so I've just finished reading the heart-wrenching book, Impossible. This book made me cry and made me notice that not everything will be the same forever; you'll just have to hope and pray everything turns out fine. This book has specific plot, but it tells so much other stories. For one, this book is actually about a girl named Lucy trying to break a curse. But just from that, it tells a story of friendship, backstabbing, change, and going your own way. Those themes are so so beautiful and heart-breaking as well. This story will grow on you.

          The first theme is friendship. It's about being there for each other and helping each other out in the toughest times of all. But this theme isn't only about helping friends, it's about relying on them. You might say that you never rely on anyone since they could just leave you in the dark and cold, but this book is not anything like that. This whole book circulates around friendship and how important it really is in those dark, horrible times. Everyone has had those times when all you need is a friend and I saw that a lot in this book. That actually made me think a lot on my friends and how important they are to me. This made me think about how I couldn't live without them if they just came and went away. Now this really made me think the theme of not taking things for granted. I now know that one of those things are friends and so did Lucy. Lucy has a friend whose name is Zach. Lucy basically loves Zach and he loves her too, but what if Zach just left her one day? Lucy would probably feel really depressed and upset. But the thing is I do think Lucy is taking things for granted and I'm not the only one. Lucy herself actually talked about her always receiving everything from Zach, but her not ever giving anything back. That made me think about friends help friends and also about how friends can always decide to leave if they want to. But it's not our choice to make them stay or leave; it's their choice.

          Now, of course you know that friendship leads to backstabbing. Lucy gets backstabbed by a person who is really the one whose been causing her problems. I always hear about how people get betrayed by their own friends and stuff and I realize that this is not the person's fault at all. It's the back-stabber's own fault. Seriously, how would you feel if you got backstabbed by a close friend? I have felt that way before and it does not feel good. But seeing this from another person's point of view really gave me a sense of how they felt: angry and betrayed. This book tells an important theme of how you can't really trust anybody but yourself. I love this theme and I especially love how it's portrayed in this book; simple, fast, and easy. I know it doesn't take long to know you've been backstabbed and this book shows that really well. Lucy finds out faster than I expected and I actually liked it for it's pace.

          And all of those problems above all lead to change. I know change is a horrible thing and feeling and I know how painful it is. The way the book lured me in about change made me think about how sometimes things will change for good or sometimes it's just temporary. But the changes Lucy goes through makes me think about how it's never to late to change something back. Like I said before, Lucy has to break a curse. Lucy does break it in the end and she becomes a matured adult from it. That made me wonder about how sometimes it changes for the better and not the worst. Lucy talks about it too and here's a quote from her:
        
          "I'm not saying I'm glad it happened. Not exactly. But I'm not sorry to be the person I am today, and to have the life I have now."
        
          I love this quote so, so much and it's all because of it's true meaning; that change is sometimes good. I mean, most people think change is bad, but I don't... anymore. For example, when people cry about break-ups, broken friendships. Maybe it was for the best. I love how this theme is so optimistic yet not in a ''Yay! Be happy!'' way.

          Change then leads to finally... going your own way. Everyone changes and nobody wants to stay the same forever. People want to actually chase their dream. People want to break off and be the original or crazier one. Lucy has told me so much about doing your own thing and not giving up on it. I like this theme because so much people don't care about their goals or dreams. They just go on with life doing nothing exciting with it. I'm not exactly what you would call a goal chaser, but I know better than to give up on it. For Lucy to break her curse, she needs to do three impossible tasks. Impossible. But Lucy didn't give up on those three tasks and she proved that they weren't impossible. Never give up and be who you want to be. Do what you want to do. This book is so beautiful in many, many ways, but this theme is the most important to me. It's about being the wildflower instead of a plain old rose.

          This book has taught me so many lessons, themes, and things about life. I love how so many things are wrapped into one book. I will never forget this book and what it had taught me. Just remember nothing is impossible if you believe.