Weekly Blog Post: The Boyfriend List

The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart

     I'd like to say that this book is the only book that actually can relate to most of us in this gigantic world, but I can't, since there are numerous amounts of books that I have not even laid a finger on yet. So I'll just say that this book is amazing, baffling, and astonishing. I've never read a book that had so much relations to myself and yet so much difference. Please open this book, and I mean please; you're not going to regret it, I promise you. Everything that you learn in this book will never be forgotten. Hence, why don't we start on this fabulous adventure? A story of friendship, honesty, self-discovery, acceptance, and forgiving and forgetting awaits.

     I'm not good at friendships, I'll tell you that. I get betrayed, I feel jealousy, I can back-stab. That's why I love Ruby (the main character) so much; she does everything her own way, even if it's wrong. I've never learned how to stay perfectly nice and normal in a friendship; sure, sometimes it's irritating, but most of the time, it's unstoppable. Bad friends, good friends; all labels, but are they really that necessary? I know in a way that all my friends are just doing what they think is best; not what anybody else thinks. So when Ruby gets told off by her best friend and her group of friends, I can really see the short fumes all of her friends have. I know Ruby is not a perfect person and if even I can accept her, why can't her own friends accept her? I've always seen friendship as a thing that's easy to bend and break and I know that sometimes we bend it way too hard. And maybe Ruby did bend a little more than everyone else, but that's her way of living and making a friendship. What she's done is right, in her point of view. There is no right and there is no wrong; there's only the road that you choose to take.

     I've never had a voice inside me, never. When I got into challenges that I couldn't overcome, I would give up and cower in fear. Sometimes I wouldn't even be able to tell the truth; I would just lie or say nothing. Ruby is the kind of girl that I am; shy, voiceless, powerless. Over the years, I've learned that speaking up guarantees you an image that makes you seem strong and powerful; Ruby has learned too. Ruby is the girl who you would identify as not too opinionated, but too weak. She really never speaks of her own thoughts; instead, she wells them up in her heart where she can't tell anyone. And sad enough, I'm just like her. I like to think that I'm not afraid to speak and not afraid to tell the world what's really up, but truth is, I'm as scared as Ruby. I guess our modernized society had taught me that no one really cares, no matter how much they seem like it. So I wonder, is it really my fault that I've been taunted by society? Or can we blame society? Well, I believe that everyone has influenced society itself and that's why everybody's so scared and just... threatened by it. Honesty is the best policy, but who says it's the best inspiration?

     Speaking of everyone these days, I would like to say that every single person on Earth is led by other people. They are influenced, pressured, taught by other people; not themselves. It hurts me severely to know that Ruby is just like that. I'm pretty much all for being myself and I must admit, it is hard. Everyone's always doing what the majority is doing and that leaves no space for themselves and definitely no place for self-discovery. I hate to say this, but everyone is dependent on each other. There's no way of being without another person there for us to cope with. Ruby is the girl who will do anything to be known, to be popular; even if it means that she would have to do things she never, ever thought of doing. She worries about perfect, good-for-nothing people and they're who Ruby truly wants to be. So again: did we really do this to society? Is our world really this shallow? I'm starting to believe so, I fear. Personalities and love are being thrown out for looks and wealth.

     As for Ruby wanting to be anything, but a social outcast, she reminds me of my own life. You see, accepting others is not easy and particularly hard for others. I've gotten used to names and insults because of my looks, my race, and even because of how I laugh. I mean, how superficial are we, people? I know exactly what Ruby is feeling and I know it's not a good feeling to have. All Ruby wants to be is popular and to be easily accepted but what she doesn't know is what she really wants in life. She can't help but impact on other people's opinions.  She's scared of being hurt and rejected, but in while she's busy trying to get ''hot'' and known, she's really hurting herself. She can't see that her life is based on other people's views and thoughts. And that's just how easy it is to get affected by acceptance. I try to believe that we are all the same things and we're all equal, but everyday, someone or something changes that thought. I'm struggling, just like Ruby, to get the respect I deserve.

     This theme is the topic that I've been aching to tell you about: forgiving and forgetting. My friend always tells me this and sometimes she even uses it to go against me, but when I think about it, it's not at all easy to forget, much less forgive. I've had obstacles thrown at me and troubles I've strained to get rid of and they always be a permanent part of my brain; they not only remind me daily that I've faced harder times, but they show me that life isn't always a dream. So, by now, you probably think I'm an evil person who never seems to forget about anything, but I'm just speaking in the view of Ruby's friends. I know that back-stabbing the evil term here and how when it really happens, all your good memories can be completely erased. I just wonder how and why some people aren't able to forgive. Forgiveness is a present that can never be bought and that's what's so special about it. I've forgave about a hundred mistakes other people made and Ruby has too. She learns along the way that to forgive one person, you must understand the person. I've never received completely 100 percent of understanding and so I've never given it, but even a little bit of understanding goes a long way. Understanding is a thing you can always try to do, even if you end up failing.

     This book was not only satisfying, but understanding (wink-wink), humorous, and usually perceived by the mind as ''unforgettable''. You're going to love this book and the emotions dug deep inside it. Authentic and sincere, Ruby will never leave you in this book.

Weekly Blog Post: Shanghai Girls

Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

     Another beautiful book is told yet again. This story of two Shanghai girls astonished me and touched not only my heart, but my mind too. Not too often do you find a book that does that. And so I open this book to wonders that are portrayed in the mid-1900's. This is a story that will sweep you off of your feet; that will bring you to a place so unfamiliar that you'll feel as if you were transported to there. This is a powerful novel that you won't ever let go. So jump into this moving story of family, appreciation, responsibility, friendship, and of course: remembering where you come from.

     When I think of family these days, I think of problems. Problems that would arise if one were to make that crack in my family. I've learned that family is a fragile thing and I can tell that Pearl and May- the two Shanghai girls- learns that too. But occasionally I don't think of problems in my family, but I just think of how my family will always be there for me, no matter what. Pearl and May are sisters and they learn to lean on each other; along with learning to cry on each others shoulders.They depend on each other and that makes me see the bond they have with each other; it's truly ravishing. But their relationship with their parents is distant (much like mine) and it hurts to see two girls who try so hard to love their parents, but their parents only seem to notice them once in a while. Pearl and May try hard to be obedient daughters and they try to respect their parents, but it's like their parents are oblivious to them. And yes, that's very much like my relationship with my parents and I guess every teenager's parents as well. It's like that feeling of never accomplishing something and it aggravates me to see myself  try so hard to just receive a simple  ''Okay.''. It's a delicate emotion, but that doesn't mean it's difficult to obtain.

     Now, when I think of never being able to make (some) people happy, I start to think whether they appreciate me or not. I do well in school, believe me, and I try to help out around my family, but it's that feeling of invisibility that drives me wild. So I can really feel Pearl and May; they only want to be noticed. But the thing is that they don't appreciate their parents just as much. I mean, I wouldn't be one bit upset if my dad was the richest man in the country, I lived in a huge mansion with servants, and I was a ''beautiful girl'' in Shanghai. I see how Pearl and May suffer from never being given the parental love they were supposed to receive, but they're vain; cold and they can't seem to think about the feelings of others. I wish they would see that they're already living a luxurious life with no distressing past at all. Somehow they make me think of myself though. My parents have always been there for me and I've never once thought about what would happen if everything left me. Nowadays, my parents work long, harsh hours just to see me have a future, but sometimes I can't think about it- it's just too... painful. In a way, I am Pearl and May; the girls who try to fight their way out of miserable thoughts. They never think of something bad that could ever happen in their life- never did they once did they imagine their lives spilling out like a bag of marbles; and of course, the unimaginable happens.

     Don't get me wrong, Pearl and May know exactly where they stand and they know what they have to do. So when I see these two sisters try their best for a shot at their future, I see that they're not afraid to fight. I'm the type of person who speaks with words; not actions. So you can see that I'm not good at being responsible; I've been everywhere from broken promises to taking the blame. I've learned that not everyone can keep responsibilities and it is hard. Pearl and May are responsible for where they are now and it's a wonder to see where they had ended up. I have always been responsible for something and if I was accused of doing something wrong, I would take the blame on myself. I've grown up thinking that my responsibility was to take the blame for something and then never doing it again. Then I realized that everyone has responsibilities; so everyone has a part in the blame. So I've been where Pearl and May has been; a place where you feel as if the whole world is weighted on your very own shoulders.

     When I was in Elementary School, I realized what a cold, cold person one could be. I am of Asian descent and therefore I had a dozen kids at my school make fun of me and tease me. What I didn't understand was why they were doing this to me; not once did I tease another person simply because of his or her's race. I've learned at a young age that everyone's the same, no matter what the race (huge cliche, ha ha). I see that Pearl and May has grown up thinking something else different in terms of race and maybe that's why they suffer so much when they arrive in a whole new world: San Francisco. They try hard to avoid the lo fan or the Whites so they wouldn't get caught then get sent back; they try to bear with being in a whole new position in a newly found place. They try to make to make friends (much like me trying to make friends with people that I later learned would never like me), but instead they are rejected by society and only accepted by their new in-law family. I see these two girls as two people trying to just get by, but they are merely kicked out of the world that they have fought so hard to get there.

     Many times in my life have my family called me a chok sing which basically means hollow bamboo. And the reason they call me this? It's because they think I'm too Americanized and far more American than Chinese. Whenever they call me this, I can only think of where I come from and how I will remember it. Now, Pearl and May, these two girls don't give up on being Shanghai girls; they fight for their culture and although they struggle while doing this, you know what they are: modern, beautiful, Shanghai girls. And you're reminded on every page that Pearl and May grasp a strong hold to who they are and where they have come from. I wish I could be like that; so headstrong in my culture in race, but I don't think that way. I only think of being different from my culture (something that Pearl tries to do while holding on to her old culture). I can't remember lots of bits from my childhood anymore; it frightens me that I barely know myself. Pearl and May; these two are each others memories of their old life; their only memory. So even though they're building to their future right at this moment; they're still memories and postcards of the past.

    The is a powerful book you'll never in your life forget. This outstanding story of family and the bonds that tie you together to make one is unforgettable. In this story, you'll see two girls with everything transform to two girls that are just trying to survive. This pragmatic book will hand over to you a tale of two beautiful, glorious girls who aren't just girls, but Shanghai Girls.

Weekly Blog Post: A Walk To Remember

A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks

     There was a time when the world was sweeter... when the women in Beaufort, North Carolina wore dresses, and the men donned hats... And so begins another touching and satisfying Sparks novel. I'm already used to his fascinating work, but this book was completely and utterly great. So touching, it gave me goosebumps. The extraordinary story of a boy and girl had never been told like this and you will never, ever forget this book. So dive into the wonders of young love, second chances, friendship, regret, and wait for it- believing in yourself, in miracles, and anything that can happen.

     Young love: probably the most bland topic to talk about ever since Romeo and Juliet. But revisit the magical possibilities of young love in this book between two people that never could've been paired together before. First, meet Landon Carter, the bad boy who's had a nice reputation. Now meet Jamie Sullivan, the girl who's never broke a single rule in her life and has always stayed on the boundaries of being the perfect daughter- and student. When I think about their relationship, I think stereotypes. This story is actually told in the late 1950's and even then there were major stereotypes. Think about today, where stereotypes lurk in every corner. But not only do I think about stereotypes, but I think about how lovely it would be to just be with someone who's completely different from who you are. I've always been with friends that could relate to this and relate to that, but I never had a friend that was not my type. Ha ha, not my type. Again with the stereotypes! But like I was saying before, all my friends were on the same page as I was so when Landon fell for Jamie, I felt, I don't know..., out of place. I can see their relationship is out of place too, with all the fights and disagreements, but then again, this is young love.

     So you can really see that Landon and Jamie don't get along too well, but they're doing okay... And it's
only a matter of time before someone does something that makes the relationship topple over. That night when Landon finally blurts out everything he's been feeling about Jamie ever since he's been hanging out with her, he doesn't feel good. I wouldn't either, I mean, what he said was more than insulting and humiliating. But what doesn't surprise me is that Landon's friends had caused him to have this outburst; teasing about him and Jamie being a couple, taunting him about it... It's the basic stereotype thing everyone knows: the popular guy should be with the popular girl, not with the girl who carries the Bible around her everywhere. I can remember liking someone way out of my league and it's hurtful and you can't just forgive and forget about it that easily. I felt so embarrassed and mortified and really, everything that Jamie felt that night when Landon yelled at her. But forgiving is like moving on; once you do it, you have to forget about the past. So it's also about giving second chances just so you could forgive and forget; not mope around all day trying to make yourself feel better.

     My friends, the ones who I've cherished until they began to go against me. Hard to accept, but you know you have to go against them to. So when Landon really begins to ''rebel'' against his friends, it's hard for him, you can see it. But maybe friends go away so you can learn to let go. Everything happens for a reason, right? So anyway, Landon begins to truly enjoy life without trying to please everyone with this pressuring society on his back. He lets go and he's himself, really himself. I miss the old person that I used to be, but what can I say? That it's too late to change? No. I used to not care about what everyone thought and lived life without trying to make everyone happy while I was truly unhappy. Now you guess where I'm at right now. Landon seems so happy without all his friends on his back and that's what made me realize that everybody noticed you. No matter what you did, someone would notice you. And everyone could either be there for you or just desert you. But Landon's friends, you can see that his friends truly do love him, and it's so riveting to see this friendship move just as it used to.

     Over these years, I seem to regret more and more often. So it's really sweet to meet a guy who doesn't regret anything: Landon. Over taunts, teases, and mocks, Landon is still quite proud of meeting Jamie. I love how he refuses to give in and he's still proud of things that had happened. I'm always thinking back and trying to fix everything, but sometimes it's easier to just go with the flow. I try to forget and try hard to not regret, but sometimes terrifying thoughts end up inside my head once more. But maybe regretting is just trying to make you remember all the things you've done. Regret makes sure that you won't forget so it won't happen again. I think of the past way more often than you think and it's scary to move on. It's scary to know that one day you'll forget everything so regret traps these thoughts inside your head. So like Landon, I try to obtain everything that's happened- just so I wouldn't ever forget.

     Miracles; one word with so much meaning in it. I used to think they were stupid and made up, but these days I'm starting to actually rely on miracles- just like Landon. Landon has lots of wrongs that I haven't mentioned of touched on, but the main problem is him always doubting himself in numerous situations. He's pessimistic, really and somehow, he reminds me of myself. I'm always trying to think of worst case scenarios just so I wouldn't be let down, but then I see that it's hurting me. I don't even have enough strength to believe in myself most of the time. Now Jamie, she never fails to succeed in anything she does, and throughout the book, some of her optimistic side actually rubs off on me. I never believed that I could make anything happen, and sometimes it really made me see life an obstacle that I could never sustain. But Landon; he believes more and more in himself, in miracles, and in all the possibilities in the world and he does it for Jamie. He changes his views and perspective on life and it helps him live through everything- even 40 years later.

     So when reading this book, just remember to believe. Anything, no matter what, can happen. This book had taught me a lesson no person, much less a book, could've taught me. This book is amazing and it's going to change you- you've been warned.

Weekly Blog Post: Dairy Queen

Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Spoiler Alert
   
     This book will be the most real and genuine book you will ever find. Why? Not because the characters are relating and just like you (thankfully, because I was getting tired of those characters), but because this girl right here, D.J, is a heroine. She is the weirdest girl you will ever find, trust me, but this is what makes her so, so... right. I mean, I can't even imagine D.J being anyone else, but herself. But what is she? No matter what you think of her, it all comes down to this: She's a diligent farm girl  who plays football and is basically a person who doesn't always get guys. Don't you like her already? I wouldn't ever find this girl in a story, but here she is. D.J Schwenk. The kind of girl who you'll never meet on a daily basis. But you'll never forget this loving and heartwarming story of family, acceptance, stereotypes, honesty, and love.

     D.J's family is... odd. They make her cry, make her happy, and make her wake up at 5 in the morning everyday. But when I read this book, I saw that her family wasn't really family, but just friends that live with her. D.J seems like a complete outsider. And I can tell you that being an outsider is not good. A month or so ago, my friend told me that I was so different from my family. Like I was marching to my own drum. I felt a stinging feeling inside me then because I knew that my friend was right. But like D.J, I didn't do much about it anyway. I just went with the flow since I didn't want to say anything. I could, but I didn't. D.J's parents are stringent and thinks that all their children will be futile if they don't follow the right road. D.J was obedient and never dared to speak up until...never. I can see that Mrs. Schwenk and Mr. Schwenk just want the best for D.J, but they don't allow her to make her own choices. And it's not that D.J's being disrespectful or anything like it, but the Schwenks force their children to roads already imprinted. My parents are the very same; they spent all their life hoping that one day, one of their children would be smart and take responsibilities on then get an amazing job. But roads that are already made somethings get paved; just like D.J'S.

     How would you feel if one day you learned that your best friend had a secret that she never told? Betrayed, lost, deceived... those were all of what D.J was feeling when she realized that her best and closest friend Amber told her about something she never would've guessed: Amber's lesbian. I have a cousin who's actually lesbian and I know it's hard for her. My father and mother, they all disapprove of that decision. But I know how hard it is to be different; you feel like you can't talk to anyone and you're all alone. And there's the catch: accepting someone who's different. It's hard to truly understand someone, but that's mainly because people don't know how to listen; they talk. D.J is the opposite of that. When Amber first exposes this secret to her, D.J listens, alright, but she can't say anything. She simply doesn't know what to say. When someone tells you this secret that's been kept away for who-knows-how-long, what do you feel? I would be in awe, to be honest. I would be shocked to my bones and probably be frozen right there. So just imagine D.J, the girl who has never talked much, being in that situation. She could've dropped right on her knees. The thing is that people mistake silence for a mere ''no'' or a simple rejection. Silence means awestruck, silence means shock. But just because you're different doesn't mean you're a rejection from society. People can accept, heck, they have to learn to accept.

     But some things everyone refuses to let go are stereotypes and breaking them. From this point on can you really imagine D.J having a gorgeous football quarterback boyfriend? Guess not. But that's just the power of stereotypes. Stereotypes are somehow built and molded into your brain and it changes all your views on anything. My neighborhood is full of different races from Muslim to Hispanic. But when I see a Hispanic person walking down the street wearing a do-rag or gang clothing of any sort, I immediately think that that person must be in a gang or that person must be failing badly in school. Thing is, stereotypes are everywhere. I've actually told my friend that her ear piercing was ''stereotypical'' since almost everyone of our race has it. So you must see where I stand when it comes to D.J dating Brian Nelson, the guy that changes D.J's life forever. I think it's sweet and unique, but it's out of the blue. It's even strange. But the football captain doesn't have to always date the pretty cheerleader captain; it can actually be another football player. This book demonstrates that nothing has to be normal to work; sometimes it's the weirdest of a combination.

     Honesty has never been my strong side for me. I would rather lie than tell he truth most of the time, but that's just me. But honestly isn't all about secrets and lies, but it's about really speaking up for your own opinions and being honest about it. Sure, I do know some people are way too honest, but D.J is the exact opposite of those kinds of people. She's quiet and her feelings are worthless since they would never be spoken to make a difference. When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up being not said. And D.J, she honestly thinks that her opinions and feelings don't weigh too much. So maybe honesty is the best policy or maybe it's just a way of being true to the people you love. I have learned to speak up over these past years and actually be real and true, but not everyone can pull it off like that; I certainly can't. But what you feel is not only for you, but for everyone. So maybe you can be more honest and true, one word at a time.

     Ah, love. Isn't everywhere these days? Well, not in D.J's world. She doesn't expect to fall in love, she doesn't expect to actually like Brian and she definitely doesn't expect to actually get along with him. But D.J, this country klutz, falls for this boy who hasn't worked a single hard day in his life, and it's amusing to see such a ''tough'' girl to fall or such a snotty, upper class boy. But anyway, that's just stereotypes speaking. But love isn't always easy. D.J hides in the bushes from Brian just so she could keep this friendship going. She didn't want anything, anything, to go wrong so she made sure there were no wrongs in this relationship. And the price she ad to pay was losing her face, dignity, and yes, honesty right in front of Brian. But through this wacky relationship, you see the two of them grow on each other right before your eyes. It's not that often that I see anyone mold onto a person that they never thought they could even be friends with. So love is unique, and hey, who said love wasn't hard?

     D.J was a girl that I thought I would never meet and she was unique, crazy, fun, wild, real, and authentic to herself. She wasn't trying to be anything, but herself. It's hard to find someone like this and it's one in a million if you end up meeting someone like D.J because everyone follows by the rules of society. So when you do meet a person like D.J, say hi to that person for me. D.J can't be anyone else and won't be anyone else, but herself. D.J is a total klutz, but she's still one heck of a person. So really reach to this book and maybe it'll reach to you too.